Kicked in the WHAT?

*this particular story takes place within my first week of student teaching at the elementary level.

While teaching tag game to a second grade class, a student ran up to me with pain in his eyes. You could tell that he was in pain but he was not crying. . .rather impressive for a 2nd grader. Now before I go on, I have to describe his voice in order to get the effect of the whole story. This student had a lateral lisp. For those of you who may not know specifically what that is, it is the kind of lisp where the air escapes from the sides of the tongue while talking creating sloppy /S/ and /Z/ sounds (or that sloppy wet sound). I will be spelling this student's spoken words as they sound so please to read as spelled. So he came running up to me in pain and said "Mishter Shturgish. Jacob just kicked me in the ballsh". Trying not to bust out in an full blown laugh, I politely smiled and replied "Trent, lets try to use better words. What should you say instead of balls?"
He began to get uneasy. He started to mutter something but I could not understand him. You could tell he was really trying to think of a more appropriate word to use instead of "balls" but was having difficulty finding it. Keep in mind that this entire time he is crossing his legs while holding his "balls" and dancing around in pain as if he was in some Richard Simmons exercise video. Finally you could see the light bulb go on and the words almost jumped out of his head.
"Mishter Shturgish. He kicked me right in the FRONTAL PRIVATESH. . .yeah right here" pointing to his crotch as if I did not know where these "frontal privates" were. After sitting out of the game for a lame 2 minutes, Trent returned into the game and the incident had entirely left his mind within minutes.

Now, not only have I discovered a new way to say balls, I have also become an expert in the traslation of the lateral lisp as I do have a few more stories to share in near future dealing with this same student.